Don’t you know you fool, you never can win
Use your mentality, wake up to reality
But each time I do, just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
cause I’ve got you under my skin
-Cole Porter

“How can I put it –I fell for her, Marcello. Okay, it wasn’t a smart move. But it felt so good when she was around on the set. She showered me with compliments every time after my segment, always telling me how good I looked on air, how inspiring my delivery was. She would voice her admiration before the news anchor, the producers, the technical crew. Needless to say, her behavior drew disdainful sneers from the people on the set and in the control room. She told me that she had decided to get into journalism school after discovering me on TV. She also said that she wanted to follow in my footsteps and become someday a successful weather anchor, and that she couldn’t believe it when they emailed her announcing that she’d been selected as the new intern for the Spring session because the sole idea of getting to work for me was more than a dream come true. Isn’t it cool?”

“It’s cloying. It’s awkward.”

“Alright, Marcello. Let’s admit that the girl went way overboard with her concentrated precipitation of accolades on me. But –do you want to know something? I have long stopped getting compliments from my team. I guess they feel that the weatherman’s work lacks the excitement and glamour you find in other professions...”

“You perform a much valued service for the community. Many people watch your segment. I do it often.” Marcello waves at Anyushka, the new waitress at the bistro, and orders a Bellini.

“I love my job, Marcello. I really do. But, over the years it has become a routine exercise of sorts. Working with my team is no longer a thrill. I don’t get a star treatment, you know. I am just the weatherman. My people don’t show me the kind of appreciation I am expecting. A man like me, Marcello, needs to be shown some appreciation every now and then, am I right?”

“We all feel better when that happens.”

“So, here comes Nicole, fresh out of college, the intern with the doll’s face, the tall figure, the floral dresses, and a sweet devotion for me. I wasn’t used to it, Marcello. I mean, the other interns never made me feel admired. That’s what Nicole did to me.”

“I am pretty sure your network will consider an affair between one of its anchors and an intern as totally unacceptable behavior.”

“Well, yes. But it’s fair play if an anchor dates a former intern.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I need to talk about this with somebody I trust.”

“I can see it, Harold. A man in his mid-forties rejuvenated by the young flesh of a college girl. How many stories have been written based on that topic? Is yours a love story?”

“It began as such, or so I thought. Right after Nicole finished her internship a month ago, she requested me as her friend on Facebook. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to.”

“How old is she?”

“Twenty five.”

“And you became friends with her on Facebook?”

“I have hundreds of fans, mind you. But, as far as I was concerned, I wanted to find a way to communicate with Nicole, which we did through private messages on Facebook.”

“Did you seduce her over emails?”

“Well, actually she seduced me. I was in love with her.”

“But she’s only twenty five, ferchrissake.”

“I didn’t care, Marcello.”

“Did you have sex with her?”

“After five messages we did. And here is how this love story turned pathetic.”

“You are not going to tell me that she adopted you as her sugar daddy, are you?”

“That wouldn’t be so pathetic, Marcello.”

“You tell me.”

“Okay. It happened right after we made love for the first time. And I didn’t see it coming. We both were naked in my bed. Nicole was playing with her fingers on my chest, and then moved on my shoulders. The feeling was so nice. I turned to my right so that she could take on my back. And that’s when she found them.”

“She found, what.”

“The two tattooed names. The names of the two most important women in my life. Angela, the mother of my two sons, and Kristin, my one-time girlfriend, my one-time fiancée… The woman who broke my heart by dumping me for a news writer.”

“Deplorevole.”

“Predictably, Nicole asked me about the origin of the tattoos. And I told her the story behind them. I told her that I had loved Angela and Kristin very deeply, and that getting their names under my skin was a testimonial of my feelings for each of them. Each tattoo a symbol for what I once believed was love forever.”

“It’s quite interesting.”

“Nicole and I then started a discreet relationship. We didn’t go public because of her recent internship with my network. We’d make love almost every day. She’d stay the nights at my place and leave in the mornings. We’d talk about her career, her dreams and disappointments. She’d kiss me passionately before falling asleep. It was so good, Marcello. I was in love with Nicole.”

“I guess that’s the reason you stopped seeing me and your friends. You were so in love.”

“It’s not funny. I didn’t see you because I was demolished.”

“Why?”

“My relationship with Nicole lasted barely two weeks. It took me longer than that to recover from the devastating breakup.”

“I just can’t visualize Harold M. King, the senior weatherman, being devastated over an intern.”

“It all unfolded in a three-day span. One night after an intense lovemaking session, Nicole is looking at the tattoos, and she asks me, ‘Do you really love me, Harold? I mean, really?’ I said, Yes, I really love you, Nicole. Then she asked me when I was going to get her name in my body.”
“Oh my God.”

“Admittedly, I was out of my mind. I must be insane to reply that I was going to have her name tattooed on the following day. That was the extent of my mad love for her. Nicole, however, demanded that her name be in my groin area.”

“To which you refused, I guess, and that’s why she broke up with you.”

“Marcello… I couldn’t refuse her. I did exactly as she said. The following morning I had her name tattooed in my groin area.”

“This is so frigging insane…”

“Don’t rub it in, Marcello. Please, don’t.”

“I am sorry, Harold.”

“I met with her at my place the day after I got the tattoo. As she saw it I expected her to show some kind of excitement. But she was cold and detached. When I asked what was wrong, Nicole informed me that she had decided to terminate our relationship because she thought I was needy and clingy. She said that I was being tested when she had suggested –she did use that word, ‘suggested’—that I get a tattoo with her name. Doing that for her, she said, was the ultimate example of my catering to her whims. In the long run, she argued, a man like me is dangerously toxic. She clarified, however, that she had real feelings for me at the outset of the relationship. Then she wished me good luck and left.”

“Man, that must have been devastating for you.”

“You bet.”

“I am so sorry. What are you going to do now? With the tattoo, I mean. It can be removed, right?”

“Marcello, I am not going to get it removed. I want it to stay with me forever as a screaming reminder of my foolishness.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“It’s funny. Yesterday I was reading a quote from Jack London. It goes, ‘Show me a man with a tattoo and I'll show you a man with an interesting past.’ Yeah, right.”

Marcello's first-hand account of a love affair gone missing

By Marcello Rubini




I searched all over the whole Barnes & Noble.
But Margaret had disappeared from the store.
Again, I searched all over the whole Barnes & Noble.
I walked out of the bookstore hoping that she had just sneaked outside for a cig.
But it was useless.
Margaret was missing.
I tried her mobile phone. Three times. All I got was a recorded voice. “We’re sorry. But your call cannot be completed at this time. Please try again later.”
I did try again. But to no avail.
Then I walked up and down the aisles of the bookstore one more time. All of them.
I stood by the ladies restroom. Maybe she had been struck by the urge of nature. Five women came out at different intervals, each one giving me a strange look.
Margaret was gone.
My heart was thudding as I left the building.
It was late July, the Atlanta sun bestowing its mercilessness on me, my favorite Hugo Boss purple shirt sticking wet to my back and my shoulders and my chest. Friggingkrist.
I looked around for her car in the parking lot. Then I remembered that Margaret had arrived in a taxi for our last rendezvous.
Our last rendezvous.
Next to my car, an overweight black woman in mule sneakers was having a cigarette, protecting her expanded humanity from the piercing sun in a dogwood tree’s shade.
I asked her, “Did you happen to see a woman with the likes of a young Debra Winger?”
The woman in mule sneakers said that she hadn’t seen any other woman, and that she didn’t know who Debra Winger was.
Hope starting to abandon me inevitably, I told her that she’s an actress.
"The woman you looking for?"
"I mean, Debra Winger." I said breathing heavily. "I don't know where she went. We were together just a moment ago."
"You tried her cell?"
"Yes. A dozen times."
"Well, seems to me she doesn’t wanna be with ya... If I was ya I'd try to reach her at her land line, leave a message if she doesn't wanna pick up."
Right. That I'd have done if Margaret hadn't been married.
“Needless to say,” Margaret once mentioned, “You are never supposed to contact me at my home phone.”
It was so understandable, so sensible, so Margaret. A married woman doesn't need to clarify that affaires of this ilk have rules of engagement and codes and a territory that you can’t ever get into.

On that sweltering afternoon, I was left without my emotional compass. And I had the hunch that I’d never see Margaret again.
A sense of loss inundating, smothering me, I tried to think of something else. What in the world could I think of? Alas, other women. Women I once loved, too. But all I could think of was Margaret.
Margaret’s quirks.
Margaret would only smoke her cigarette down to the last half an inch. She explained that this habit came from the decade that she smoked Dunhill Blues. Because the cigarette paper was imprinted with a message about the Queen, Margaret thought it was disrespectful to burn that word. Therefore, she always snubbed it out on the preceding line of text.
Margaret would only wear matching sets of lingerie, a quirk that she had grown in her early teens.
Margaret would always try to have perfectly manicured feet. She used to say that this was so because she’s a Pisces and that made her a foot person, anyway.
Yes. Margaret had angel’s feet. You couldn’t appreciate her body without appreciating her feet. If Caravaggio had been painting women nowadays, he’d have used Margaret’s feet in all of his works.
Margaret maintained that she wanted to be an artist. She loved painting. But having been born into a family that was part of Atlanta’s social elite was an impediment towards that dream of hers.
That’s what she had told me once.
Margaret’s father, a prominent social science scholar, used to work with Talcott Parsons himself. Margaret’s mother, an aristocratic Southern Belle, believed that if her daughter had artistic inclinations she’d fare better by helping struggling artists than becoming one of them. You can be helpful by marrying a man who’s financially secure plus able to multiply his income.
That’s what Margaret once told me about her mother.
That’s how Margaret chose to follow in her father’s steps and became a social science scholar herself. And married Robert, a successful commercial estate lawyer who’s a senior partner in a successful law firm in Atlanta.
I first met Margaret at a lecture that she gave at Emory University to a packed auditorium. I attended the event because I was indeed interested in the subject –American Politics in the Age of Postmodernism.
Margaret’s lecture was outright stunning. She maintained that America’s postmodern age had ushered in a hyper-ideological although quasi-moronic discourse, and that the mainstream media was validating premises that were plain false, irrational and banal. This vision, Margaret argued, oversimplified diagnoses and formulae, such as the rationale that was used to invade Iraq.
Most of the attendees to Margaret’s lecture exploded in applause. The few right-wingers present were so upset that they had to leave the auditorium.
By the end of her speech I had already been seduced by this woman and her intellect and her power of articulation and her slim figure and her long elegant legs. Let me be clear on this –Kierkegaard’s right. The ultimate seduction is that of the intellectual kind.
And so I told her as soon as I approached her during the after-lecture drinks.
I said, “I am very impressed. You’re living proof that what I once learned is right.”
“What’s that?”
“The massive knowledge a woman can master is a turn on.”
“You’re pretty straightforward,” Margaret said, her eyes beaming. “I’ve never been complimented like that after I am done with a lecture.”
I thought to myself, I must have this woman. Period. Then I said, “That’s good. I want to be the first man ever complimenting you this way.”
Margaret took a few minutes to exchange comments with fellow professors and students and then came back to me. That’s when I found out that she was in for the adventure.
“I can tell by your accent that you’re Italian,” she said.
I nodded.
“I am married to a man who’s quite prominent in his chosen field,” she said in perfect Italian.
“I don’t mind who you are married with,” I replied in Italian, “for as long as I have your exclusive attention when you make time for me.”
“Fair enough.”
And so secretly began our discreet, brilliant affaire. It unfolded just as naturally as two kindred spirits recognizing each other after a long, sometimes unconscious search for total-quality connection. Two kindred spirits feeding on each other’s desire for more emotional expansion. Two kindred spirits looking at the encounter of our bodies as a supreme, slow-paced work of art.
Oh Margaret.
Margaret. Two months ago, on one cool Saturday afternoon, as I was cooking chicken Tetrazzini in my kitchen, she revealed to me that she was in pursuit of elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, and wealthy rather than rich.
“That line somehow sounds familiar,” I said.
“It comes from an inspiring piece of writing, Symphony, by William Henry Channing,”
I wasn’t familiar with that author though. What I had meant to say at that time was that I myself could very well relate to Margaret’s lofty pursuits.
“You must be aware that this is my first clandestine love adventure,” said Margaret to me on the phone on a windy morning one month ago.
I didn’t know what to respond to that confession. Was I supposed to feel flattered for being her first illicit man? Or should I pay more attention to the second part of the predicate adjective of her choice –love?
It was downright strange. All this time into our furtive relationship, the word love never was mentioned. I didn’t even call her amore mio, as I did with other women. Come to think of it, Margaret belonged to a different league --the married, forbidden women.
A forbidden woman, as per the long-established mores of our civilized society. There lies the thrill of this kind of relationship. Not only are you breaking the unwritten rules of matrimony. Also, you have to come up with ways to hide this banned partnership away from the rest of the world. And in so doing, you just can’t make conventional dating plans when you want to meet with the obscure object of your desire. You have to improvise, ad-lib, play along, always out of sight. A rendezvous is produced at a moment’s notice, usually preceded by a text message that reads “now.”
Oh Margaret.
“What makes you a master lover?” I once asked her. “You claim that you’re not experienced, or practiced on this art. I find it hard to believe. When we make love, I can see the face of God.”
Yes. I did have feelings for Margaret. But, I assumed that I didn’t have the right to discuss them with her. Our short-lived moments together were so fun, so intellectually and sexually intense that I didn’t want to eventually spoil them by bringing up the subject of my feelings. No. It definitely wasn’t germane to this stage of our adventure.
“I don’t think monogamy is natural,” Margaret said to me in the aftermath of our first lovemaking experience. She then went on a sober explanation of the historical origins of monogamy, with references to Friedrich Engels
“Origins of the Family, Private Property and the State”
to prove her point. I enjoyed how well she was intellectualizing her affair.
“Many times I’ve fantasized about leaving this life of mine behind and starting over elsewhere,” Margaret said to me the last time we were together in my bed. “I’d love to live on an island in the Caribbean, devote myself full time to painting. I so much desire to begin a new life.”
“That’d be cool,” I said.
Yes. Margaret’s long-time dream was to live as an unmarried artist. She’d speak about how exciting it must be reinventing herself, being an authentic person.
An authentic person.
“You should go for it. You know, life is short,” I said.
And after I uttered those words Margaret surprised me by going on top of me. She made love to me this time, so eagerly, so generously, so Margaret.
And I somehow knew this was going to be our last time as lovers.
You must become who you are. Or else, you’ll be no one.
You must be authentic.
Oh Margaret.
“Someday I will begin a new life. I will disappear and go to an island,” Margaret concluded.
I suspect that this is what she just did. She disappeared from my life.


One month later. A blue envelope in my mailbox. My name and address in Margaret’s handwriting. She writes from the Virgin Islands.

My Marcello,

I remember that evening you asked me, ‘what makes you a master lover?’ I still wonder about that. Perhaps it has to do with the special connection that we share. With you I’ve learned to open up myself. Yes. Can’t you see that it was all about you? Can’t you see that you were responsible for it, for feeling it from me? There was no one else in your bedroom, only you. Only you and your mouth on my skin, your lips taking me in, your body drinking from me, feeding me. There’s only you opening me. And when you unwrapped me, and began to pull me out, and I saw that you weren’t laughing at me, you weren’t going to shove me back… I could see that you wanted to open me more, pull out more, continue to want me. Making it possible for me to be free to express myself honestly. I don’t know if this is masterful. I have nothing to compare with. I don’t really care to. I only want to express myself openly. I moved into you like I now move into my artwork, not allowing any memory to hold me back. At least, this is what you have shown me to do. This is what you write to yourself in your notes, ‘Show! Don’t tell!” For me, it is, “Live! Feel! Don’t be closed!” There’s a place I can reach… That place that I’ve never known because you allowed me to go there, because you led me there. And so I go. And I am so happy in it. I don’t know if it makes me a good lover. I think when I go there, while I do my art, I think it makes me a good artist. It’s the honesty to my self. The authenticity. The being open to spirit, as you like to say. That seems to be when my art is good. Maybe it was the same when I made love with you. You brought me there in our sex. My life history brings me there in my artwork. These are the inspirations. Yet I don’t feel like a master of lovemaking at all. I feel that you simply opened me, and you enjoyed opening me. I feel so good in that. I don’t know how you did it, but I know you opened me by telling me with your touch that I was worth opening. It was new having someone treat me with respect, curiosity, love. And none of the guys could do this to me, let alone my soon-to-be former husband. You can because you are an artist with some dark windows, and you know this place. You know the importance of darkness, of tragedy, and how dark defines colors, brings poignancy to the celebrations of life. I know that you know, as an artist, how necessary darkness can be. I know you know the pain and agony from there. I know that you go further in your pleasure and joy because you have those dark windows. And so you won’t crash through mine, you appreciate mine. You make me feel safe opening with you. I simply trust you. I don’t know if I am a spectacular lover. I do know that I felt like one when you were next to me, touching me, loving me, wanting me, filling me, with your soul and your sperm, and your art of making love to me… Is it enough to say that I am free from my prison now, that I found the key, and that you offered me a bouquet of bright scented flowers to inhale and absorb and look upon with happiness? Is it enough to watch me place one flower behind my ear, and to see me get yellow on my nose from the pollen?”

Margaret’s letter also informed me that she is very happy in her rental beachfront house in St. Thomas. She paints full time and teaches social sciences part time at the University of the Virgin Islands. She apologized for disappearing that afternoon. She said that if I was told what she intended to do I might have tried to talk her out of her plans to put such a big distance between us, and that she had to act upon her desire for total emancipation, including from my love.
On top of that, she wrote, the whole story of our relationship, the way it ended, could serve me as a great basis for a story.
Margaret suggested that the title be, “A Love Affair gone missing.”

The Misunderstanding

"You remember that girl you saw me with this weekend at the bistro?" asks Marcello while rubbing and breathing out on the window of his Movado wristwatch.

"She was hot," I say.

"Yes. She reminds me of a blonde Monica Bellucci. I had to let her go that night, though."

"Why? What happened?"

"I told her that I used to have a girlfriend who was a thespian, and how much we enjoyed traveling and staying at hotels and locking ourselves up to have wild sex."

"What? Did she get retroactively jealous?"

"Worse. She said, 'So, if your girlfriend had sex with you then she actually was bi, wasn't she?'"

"Ouch."

A Strange Revenge

"You remember Jennifer?" I ask Marcello while playing with a Rubik's cube.

"The woman you have been dating that once worked for the George W. Bush administration?"

"Yes, that one. I just dumped her after breaking her heart, miserably."

"That's so unlike you," says Marcello, his shades still on in the middle of the night.

"I must admit that I did it on purpose. I had to borrow from a Woody Allen movie to render my master opus."

"What the fuck are you talking about?

"I asked her to move in with me. The day of the moving, and as the movers were bringing her stuff into my flat, I told her, 'You know, I don't think this is gonna work.' Her jaw dropped. I went on saying, 'Call me bastard, call me whatever name comes in your mind, but I have to be honest with you, Jennifer. I met somebody else.'"

"Jesusfreakingchrist. You are…"

"Next thing she did, she yelled at the movers, 'Get all my stuff back in the fucking truck.' Like in the Woody Allen movie, she grabbed the manuscript of the novel I had been working on for years and took it with her on the way out. She tossed it in a dumpster that's below street level. There's no way I could recover it."

"Why would you do such an infamous thing?"

"Well, it occurred to me that I should do to her what the Bush administration did to this country…"

"That's so woodyallenesque of you."

Marcello Comes Across Unconditional Love

Dedicated to Paul Auster



“You’ve enhanced my life,” Marcello whispers to Beulah as he walks her at Piedmont Park. “It’s not only about the exercise I am getting from walking you. It’s also about the new women I am meeting at the park. These women, Beulah, walk both their loneliness and their dogs on a leash.”

Beulah is amazed. She has come to believe that she and Marcello share the same instinct. Each time Beulah gets sight of a squirrel she chases it as if it is the first time she's ever seen a squirrel. Marcello does the same with women.

Marcello, however, takes on a different approach when chasing a woman. He goes on a slow-paced pursuit, pretending he's not interested in the prey, sparing her from the onslaught. This kind of chase is something that Beulah just can't figure out. Sometimes the chase is successful, other times it isn't. Beulah enjoys the moment Marcello approaches a woman because she gets to play with the fellow dog that the woman is walking.

Beulah has found that when she's growled at by a dog that ultimately rejects her, the woman wouldn't talk to Marcello for long before rejecting him as well. Beulah doesn't know why this happens. Neither does Marcello. A mystery unsolved.

Once she catches a squirrel Beulah plays with her half-dead body until she grows tired and leaves it behind, all in one act. Marcello's hunting takes more than one act.

The first act comes to an end right after the woman has given Marcello her "number." Then comes act two --when Marcello calls the woman a few days after their first contact at the park. Act three takes place when that woman enters Marcello's residence and retire with him to his bedroom. Sometimes the woman would bring her pet, which Beulah likes because it gives her the chance to play again with the dog that she first met at the park. Still, there are other times when act three won't occur for reasons Beulah can't grasp.

This afternoon Marcello is not being lucky. Each of the three women he went after was just unresponsive. “I think I still am pissed,” he tells her, and mumbles other words in Italian, a language Beulah can’t understand yet. “Being pissed means that whatever I set myself out to do will go wrong, because I am kind of sabotaging myself, Beulah.”

Beulah knows why Marcello is upset. He was unfairly attacked and hurt during a verbal fight last weekend. Beulah was lying on the kitchen floor when, all of a sudden, this woman, Jenny, emerged from Marcello’s bedroom.

“You confuse me,” Jenny said.

“I confuse you? How?” Marcello said.

“You call me amore, which in Italian means love. But, do you mean it? Am I your love?"

“I have affection for you. I am fond of you. These are feelings usually associated with love, right?”

“We’ve been seeing each other for a month now. Do you love me?”

Beulah sensed that a situation was building up. She opened her eyes and looked at Marcello.

“I care about you, I like being around you, I want you, too,” Marcello declared. “As far as I am concerned, this is love.”

“But you are not in love with me,” Jenny said.

“Being in love, as in wanting to marry and live with you?”

Beulah got up and walked up to Marcello. She wanted to make sure that if something bad was going to happen she’d be standing by him.

“It takes a long time to get there, amore mio,” Marcello said.

“See? You don’t love me. You’re leading me on when you say that you do.”

Beulah looked up straight into Marcello’s eyes perceiving his discombobulation.

“I do believe that I can love you as I do because it’s part of my character, it’s part of my culture,” he said.

“So, are you ready to have a monogamous relationship with me?”

“I am not ruling that out. It takes time, though. Octavio Paz says that love can only succeed if the surrender is mutual,” Marcello said.

Jenny took a deep breath. Beulah could relate to what the woman was doing because she did the same when getting ready to jump at her prey.

“Sounds nice,” Jenny said. “But, you know what? I think that you’re a snob and a player.”

“Why are you calling me that?”

“Because you’ve been doing and saying things that men in this country don’t do unless they mean it.”

“I mean what I say.”

“No, you don’t. You just are playing me to get what you want.”

“What is it that I want,” Marcello wanted to know as he rubbed his fingers against Beulah’s head.

“You just want to have sex with me and then toss me out. Or worse, you want me to be just another member of your gallery of women you like to sleep around with.”

Beulah could feel how this fight was corroding Marcello’s spirit. She was afraid for him.

“That’s not the way I look at it,” Marcello grabbed Beulah’s withers, an outlet for his increasing tension. She took this with understanding.

“You come to me with your Italian charm, your sweet accent. You get the doors and the tabs. You speak of movies, books and authors I’ve never heard of, like this Octopus Pass..."

“Actually, it’s Octavio Paz,” muttered Marcello, but Jenny was no longer listening to him.

“You do things that American men don’t do. You say my love too easily. You make me feel like a princess. But it’s all bullshit because I know you’re manipulating me. You just want to fuck me in order to feed your Italian ego. You are not serious about the relationship.”

Marcello released Beulah’s withers and scratched his head. Faking a smile he asked –“Why are you telling me this?”

Raising her voice Jenny answered –“Because it’s time someone calls you out on your crap.”

“You make it sound like you’re exposing a dangerous man for the world to see,” Marcello said.

“Eventually I am going to contact all your women friends on your Facebook and tell them about this conversation.”

“What the fuck?”

Now Beulah was upset. She just was mirroring Marcello’s absorbing the shock.

Marcello, outraged –“Perchè ti comporti in questo modo? Perchè sei talmente arrabbiata con me?”

Beulah recognizes this. Whenever Marcello is upset he speaks in this strange language.

Jenny, prodding at Marcello –“In English! Speak to me in English, you prick.”

“You’re out of your mind. Why are you going on such a rant? We just made love, ferchrissake. We were having a good time and all of a sudden you’re mad at me? What the fuck is going on with you?”

“I just can’t stand your kind. You’re a snob and a player. I won’t let you manipulate my feelings!”

Marcello, pointing a finger at Jenny –“I’ve been honest with you from the very beginning. I’ve never even insinuated anything that could mislead you as to who I am.”

Jenny, looking down to Marcello –“Insinuated? There you go again, the snobbish Latin lover.”

That was it. Beulah knew it was the end of the fight.

“I am not going to take your anger,” Marcello said. “It’s not my problem. Please leave my house.”

“Are you kicking me out?”

“Yes.”

Beulah saw Jenny grab her clothes and put on a t-shirt inside out. The woman rushed out of the kitchen into the living room and opened the front door slamming it in her way out, leaving a bad vibration into the air.

That’s what happened last weekend. Beulah can’t make sense of the whole incident. Why would a person first show comfort and closeness with another one and show the exact opposite a few moments later? Do they miss each other after they break apart? Does Marcello miss the women he had once captured but then let go? Sometimes Beulah finds herself missing Elizabeth, her one-time master who also got to be with Marcello until she let Beulah go with him.

There are so many things that Beulah can’t understand. But she’s okay with it.

Marcello stops at a park bench to catch his breath. Beulah jumps on the bench and stands wagging her tail. Marcello sits down still holding the leash. Beulah notices the sweat-drops on Marcello’s forehead and goes on licking them off. She likes to lick Marcello’s face because of its unique salty flavor.

Marcello seems to enjoy what Beulah is doing.

“Tuo amore per me è senza limiti.”

Beulah pauses and looks baffled at Marcello for a second before going back at licking his sweat drops.

“Can’t you get me in Italian yet, Beulah? Okay, here it goes –You’re the only bitch ever who loves me unconditionally for who I am.”

Beulah doesn’t know what Marcello is talking about. All she knows is that she must now follow Marcello, the leader of her one-dog pack.

Marcello's Final Scene With Elizabeth

Right after having her fourth glass of Cabernet Sauvignon of the evening Elizabeth comes to this conclusion --if she has to move back to Boston she can no longer keep the dog. Also, she has decided to terminate her relationship with Marcello. It is so clear in her mind now. Wine makes her think better.

Elizabeth thinks the world of Marcello, though. And so she tells him, "Marcello, I think the world of you. But, you add stress to my life."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I am at a bad place right now. I am sorry." She pours more wine in her glass. She says no more. Elizabeth can't pull herself together and articulate her fears. Only the flavor of the Cabernet Sauvignon makes sense to her tonight. What irks her is the prospect of letting go of the dog.

"I've tried to reach out to you, but you refuse my help." Marcello says, a cigarette between his index and middle fingers absorbing the sudden stress.

Yeah, right, Elizabeth thinks to herself. There's little Marcello can do to help her. At 41, Elizabeth is high-strung over the global financial meltdown. All of her savings and investments had come down to $650,000. She keeps saying that she's broke. "I am broke, I am broke. I ought to file for bankruptcy." Two years ago, Elizabeth had money enough to go into early retirement from a 12-year job as a business analyst in Corporate America. She had been quite lucky. She had built up an investment portfolio that had had pretty good returns. She used to consider herself the female version of Warren Buffett although to a microscopic degree. The Wall Street collapse is now pushing her back into the workforce. The problem is that Elizabeth just can't find a position that would yield her at least $250,000 a year. "Oh my God." Elizabeth had developed a life style that requires more than that amount.

Yes, it's sad, but she can no longer keep Beulah, a Hungarian Viszla that she had adopted from the animal shelter six months ago. "Fucking high-maintenance dog," Elizabeth whispers at the glass of wine. It's strange, however, how much Beulah is fond of Marcello, that man who once told Elizabeth that he's become petless by principle since his Pekingese died when Marcello was 29 years old. He had gone his entire adolescence and first youth with his Pekingese whom he called Gene after Gene Hackman. When Gene passed away of old age, Marcello was left so demolished that he had pledged to never have a pet again. Marcello, however, loved Beulah so much so that he had lifted the ban on pets at his condo in order to spend a few days with Elizabeth's dog as she was out of town on business.

She hears Marcello mumble something in Italian, "Sono un stronzo," but she doesn't know what it means. Whatever, thinks Elizabeth as she opens the second bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon of the evening.

"This is not right, goddammit."

"Why are you telling me this?" Marcello wants to know.

Elizabeth holds the wine in her mouth, the flavor is fading away. She can't get over with what happened the previous night. Her mind in the immediate past, her wine-imbibing self in the critical present. She can see herself in her bed, Marcello on top penetrating her gently. She doesn't move. Her mind is in Boston where she owns a loft that she had rented out to a struggling actress. Her tenant made a living working full-time for Washington Mutual. By the time the Wall Street catastrophe was building up, her tenant began to fall behind her monthly payments and eventually the amateuresse thespian was laid off. The ever expanding crisis drove many people desperate, hopeless or berserk. The latter was the case with Elizabeth's tenant. Prior to being evicted from the loft in Back Bay the woman ripped parts of the hardwood floor with a hammer. On top of the monthly mortgage payments she has now to pay for the repairs, let alone finding a new tenant. No, Elizabeth doesn't move. Her thoughts are trapped in Boston when she hears Marcello, "Amore, are you okay?" No, I am not, she says. Marcello pulls back and holds her. He says that he understands, that she's been under much stress lately. He had emphasized, Much. He falls asleep while holding her. That was last night. Tonight Elizabeth is really pissed off.

"You know what, you are supposed to complete the job."

"Uh?"

"You should have come last night. I was perfectly lubricated. Why didn't you come?"

Marcello, the Italian lover --"I am afraid that I can't do that if my lover isn't into it."

Elizabeth, the redhead under stress --"What the fuck are you talking about? There'll be days in a couple's life when one of them isn't into it for whatever reasons. It doesn't mean that you can't come."

"Sorry. If that's the case then I can't play along. I need my partner to be into it as well."

"Fuck. Then it means that we can't be long term." It's over. The sixth glass of wine is over, too.
Marcello, in his eyes there is something that resembles disappointment. So be it. Sometimes booze will shed light on matters that love is prone to ignore.

"Your Italian ego must be badly bruised. I am sorry, but I can't go on with you."

Marcello is not listening. Elizabeth sees him go to the living room where Beulah is lying on the sofa. She walks after him and catches him holding Beulah, whispering something in Italian in the dog's ears. For the first time in a long time Elizabeth is moved. "Do me a favor," she says. "Take her with you. She'll be better off with you."

Marcello, a look of surprise. "Is it the right thing to do?"

Yes, it is. "She loves you, you know."

Marcello nods. Elizabeth grabs the dog leash and hands it to him. Then she walks him and the dog to the front door. She stands looking out of the window as Marcello opens the car door to let Beulah in and then drive away.

Elizabeth hopes for a tear to emerge, but none comes.

Marcello's Take on Women in Flip-Flops

From: Boris <boris_trucco@hotmail.com>
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2008 9:15 AM
To: Marcello
Subject: How did it go?

You sounded quite excited about meeting with Crystal this Saturday at the bistro. How did it go? Did you close the deal?



From: Marcello <RubiniM@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2008 1:15 PM
To: Boris
Subject: How did it go?

I had to let her go.

Sent from my BlackBerry




From: Boris <boris_trucco@hotmail.com>
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2008 1:27 PM
To: Marcello
Subject: How did it go?

Why? I introduced her to you assuming that she'd be within your target range. Crystal strikes me as the kind of wild blonde. She's single, an accomplished graphic designer. Eager for fun. Did the date go wrong?




From: Marcello <RubiniM@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2008 2:13 PM
To: Boris
Subject: How did it go?

It wasn't that Crystal's ambitions were out of sight. I can understand that. After all, she's in her late 20s.
It wasn't that Crystal's vocabulary was still on the make, somehow stuck at pre-college levels.
It wasn't that, in verbalizing her reaction to what's going on in the world, her choice of words overflows with "awesome," "remarkable" and "I'm like--"
It is that Crystal showed up at the bistro on a Saturday evening wearing flip flops.

Sent from my BlackBerry




From: Boris <boris_trucco@hotmail.com>
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2008 2:15 PM
To: Marcello
Subject: How did it go?

I don't know what to say, man.




From: Marcello <RubiniM@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2008 2:33 PM
To: Boris
Subject: How did it go?

I just don't get it. Women have the privilege of getting to choose from the most beautiful shoes available to them. Yet the best young women today can come up with are flip flops? For a date at a fancy bistro? WTF.

Sent from my BlackBerry